Love and Marriage

Love and Marriage

 

It is a beautiful thing when a man and woman come together and make their promises to one another before God – promises to be faithful to one another and forsake all others, to love and cherish, to live together in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, as long as they both shall live.  I nearly always cry at weddings when I witness those sacred moments and hear those marriage vows made before God by the bride and groom.  

 

Our heavenly Father is in the business of love and marriage.  When God first created Adam, He said that it wasn’t good for humans to be alone. So, God created Eve to be his wife and God, playing cupid, put the man and woman together in the Garden of Eden.  God was the One who created sex and marriage and He said that was “very good.”  Adam and Eve loved each other, and God came and walked and talked with them each day in the garden (Paradise)  and gave them everything they could ever want or need.  (Genesis 2:8-25)

 

But then God commanded Adam and Eve to obey Him and not eat of the Tree of Life, and that’s when they got in trouble! (Genesis 3) And it seems like in marriage as well as in life, God gives us simple laws to obey.  And when we rebel against His laws, our marriages, as well as our lives get into trouble.  

 

Having Christ in our marriage makes all the difference! Staying faithful to one another as well as staying faithful to Christ can make all the difference. Couples in Christian marriages have many benefits over couples in secular marriages or married couples in other faiths.  Christian husbands and wives have been led to serve one another as Christ serves us, - the Church. Scripture says that the steps of Godly people are ordered by the Lord.  (Psalms 37:23) And God will guide the steps we walk in our marriages if we ask.

 

There are guys and gals who live together but are afraid to be committed or tied down to another person in marriage. Lovers with no commitment? Having sex and having children and then often breaking up. Our world is full of very lonely individuals, alone and missing out!

 

Of course, it is important not to marry in haste.   Marrying a hard-hearted person could spell terrible heart aches in the future. But if we are too cautious and too afraid to commit to another person, we never will know the joys of true committed love.  And we miss out.   Scripture says: “He who finds his life shall lose it, and he who loses his life for My Sake will find it.”  (Matthew 10:39)

 

Then there are the marriages that don’t last. Some couples live like married singles under the same roof. They keep their money and their time separate and constantly keep score when their spouse doesn’t do his or her share of the chores, bill paying, etc. And legalistically keeping score isn’t good for any marriage.

 

Instead of pulling together, some married couples compete against one another. And sometimes they seem to both be shopping around, always looking for a better “deal”.  Flirting and cheating with others of the opposite sex. The wife wonders if she could have done better and compares the men she meets to her husband.  And the husband compares his wife to the younger more attractive women he meets.  Soon the husband discards the older wife, like dumped used merchandise, for a flashy younger model, a sexy “Trophy Wife”.

 

 The Bible says that without a vision, the people perish.  Some couples may not have a vision that includes God and His laws in their marriage. When marriage partners don’t have God’s good vision but make up their own little vision, things can break down.  And when the husband and wife are unfaithful and selfish or hard hearted, their marriage is on shaky grounds.

 

 Selfishness is the death knell of a marriage.  When one of the spouses is hard hearted and unfaithful and abandons the marriage, it is impossible for the other spouse to force his or her spouse to stay married.  Love must be given freely and even God refuses to force us to love Him.   

 

When Jesus was asked why Moses permitted husbands to divorce their wives, he answered: “Because of the hardness of their hearts Moses gave them permission to divorce their wives. “(Mark 10:4-5) But then Jesus continued by saying that God didn’t intend for marriage to be that way – to end in divorce.  It seems Jesus is saying that hard and selfish hearts cause divorce.  God will not force us to love each other.

 

If either the husband or the wife insists on leaving the marriage, then I believe that Scripture says that the abandoned spouse is not stuck but can move on with their lives and not feel forever guilty.  1 Corinthians 7:15 says: “If the unbelieving depart, let him depart, the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.”  Too many do not have God’s “peace” after being abandoned by a marriage partner. 

 

The God who created marriage also has some laws concerning marriage.  We harm ourselves and others when we ignore His laws.  Scripture says,” If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the Faith and is worse than a heathen.”  (1 Timothy 5:8) 

 

Jesus also said this: “Whoever divorces his wife except for the cause of fornication and marries another commits adultery against her.” (Mark 5:32) One of the Ten Commandments commands us not to commit adultery. (Exodus 20:3-15) Sexual unfaithfulness can break up a marriage, often leaving children without a father or mother in the home.  And our loving heavenly Father wants romance and exciting true love for the husband and wife. And reliable fathers and mothers there for the little children.   

 

Scripture has much to say about building good marriages. Husbands are to love their own wives as Christ loves the Church.  The husband is to love his wife as his own body and love her as he loves himself.  And the two are to be considered “one flesh”. (Ephesians 5:25 and 28)   Of course the wife is to love and respect her husband too and the two are to share the ups and downs of this earthly life and their love together.  And the husband and wife are both to submit to one another in love. (Ephesians 5:21) The Bible says that both are to submit! 

 

Good marriages partners are to also be unselfish, loving and truthful.  And most important, the husband and wife should love God and walk and talk with Him each day and allow Him to guide them in their marriage.  They are to forgive one another.  Nothing works without forgiveness.

 

Everywhere we look we can find good marriages if we just open our eyes!  Where have all the romantic songs gone to celebrate this?  Don’t we believe in true love anymore?  True love makes the world go ‘round! When a couple takes their vows before God seriously and ask His guidance in their marriage, their prayers will be answered! You can count on it. As believers in Christ, we have been promised God’s help for all our needs and all our problems.  And that includes help for our marriages.

 

Scripture says that Jesus has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 1:3) God has made provision for us and given us a glorious inheritance in Christ. This abundant inheritance and these many provisions are waiting there for you. So, let’s press into our inheritance when our marriages have problems.  And let’s ask and believe God for the answers and for His provisions.  It doesn’t get any better than that!