Thoughts Concerning Christian Marriage

Thoughts Concerning Christian Marriage

 

We are presently going through C.S. Lewis’s famous book, “Mere Christianity” and touching on some of the high-lights. This book is all about describing Christian beliefs.  Today we will touch on some of the Christian beliefs concerning sex and marriage.

 

The Christian idea of marriage is based on Christ’s words that a married couple is to be considered as a single organism – or “one flesh”.  (Mark 10:8) And one of the Ten Commandments in the Bible commands God’s people against sex outside of marriage.  It says: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14) God has given us this wonderful gift of marriage, but with His gift He has also given us some rules and instructions.  

 

Most likely God commanded His people to be faithful in their marriages because sex outside of marriage isolates one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of unions which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union called marriage.  Sex without love or commitment is really fake.  And God wants the real thing for us – and we should want that too. 

 

 Also, sex outside of marriage is called “fornication” and is called a “sin” in Scripture. This sin is sometimes made to look like “fun” in the media, but it can bring on so much sorrow and grief.  Unborn babies produced by couples who have sex and are not committed to each other are the cause of millions of abortions.   And parents who are not responsible or faithful to one another can be the cause of why little children are abandoned or are raised by one struggling parent.

 

There are people who want to keep free sex alive in order to make money out of us.  Today porn is everywhere, and sex is cheapened and considered a recreation. Surrendering to all our desires can lead to impotence, disease, jealousies, lies, concealment and abortions.

 

Sadly, babies and children are the ones who suffer most!  These little ones are sacrificed on the altar to the goddess of sex. How many more will have to die?  They pay the bloody price so that we can have free sex. God wants our best and our children’s best.  For any happiness in this world, quite a lot of restraint is going to be necessary. 

 

God loves and cares about the un-born and the abandoned babies and the children who are left behind like garbage after a feast.  Scripture says: “If anyone does not provide for his family, he has denied the Christian faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8) God calls Christians to be responsible in their sex lives and to “flee – or run away from - fornication”.  To be committed to the one we have a sexual relation with and to be responsible for the children that our sexual relationship brings.  God loves us too much to have it any other way. 

   

Thousands of years ago, men – usually men with enough money – sometimes married more than one wife, if he could pay for her upkeep and also the children they had together. God called on them to take care of their families. Both Moses and Jacob, who were great men of God, were married to more than one wife, as was the custom in the patriarchal societies of antiquity. Today most modern women believe in equality in marriage and would not agree to share their every-day lives and their money as well as their husbands with others. 

 

Almost everyone who has been married in a church has made a public, solemn promise before God to stick to his or her partner in sickness and in health, whether for richer or poorer until death.  Marriage for a Christian is considered sacred – with God’s blessings on it.  But of course, we all know that some marriages don’t last until death like we promise in our marriage vows. And Scripture allows divorce in certain cases. Here are two of the several reasons. (Matthew 19:9, 1 Corinthians 7:15, Matthew 5:32) But still, the Biblical Christian beliefs concerning marriage and divorce are much stricter than our modern society would prefer. 

 

So how do we reconcile the reality of the high divorce rate among Christians with the high Christian standards of love and faithfulness?  It seems that many Christians have adopted the secular standards for marriage and given up our Christian standards. The modern secular standard for marriage does not always call the couple to stick together till death!  In fact, it seems that often secular advice goes like this – that one should stay in a marriage as long as the marriage is in their best interests.  And when two people “outgrow” one another or have different needs then they should split.  As you can see, there is a difference between the Christian definition of marriage and the secular one. 

 

 I would think that a Christian, trying to obey God, should take their marriage vows seriously and do their best to stay in a difficult marriage.  Go through counseling and pray for God’s help.  Scripture allows divorce in cases of adultery or abandonment.  And I believe that God doesn’t want us to stay in an abusive marriage when the abuser refuses to change.

 

 If one of the partners refuses to stay in the marriage, often leaving for another person, there is little the other partner can do but to go along with the divorce. But God forgives the sin of divorce just as He forgives all other sins. So, if you are the one who left your marriage and caused the divorce, you can be forgiven if you are sorry and repentant.  Christianity is all about repentance and second chances. 

 

God commands marriage partners to love one another.  And He commands husbands to “Love your wives as Christ loves the Church.”  (Ephesians 5:25) C.S. Lewis points out that those who are in love have a natural inclination to bind themselves by promises.  Romantic love songs all over the world are full of vows of eternal constancy.  But is this modern generation giving up on romance and true love?  Where are any romantic love songs today? 

 

Love is the great conqueror of lust.  And true love moves married partners to keep their promise of fidelity through thick and thin.  It is on this God given love that the engine of marriage is run. I believe a great marriage is there for us if we ask God for it.  And if we are willing to be unselfish and responsible. God promises to be with us in our marriages and to help us love one another – if we are willing.

 

Being married and in love is a glorious state!  It helps to make us romantic, unselfish, generous and courageous.  It opens our eyes not only to the beauty of the beloved, but to all beauty. We give up so much if we pass married love by for some cheap sexual thrills. Yes, true married love is a many splendored thing!

 

Many of these ideas were taken from C.S. Lewis’s book, “Mere Christianity”.